The one thing I love as a submissive, and crave for as a little, is to be given tasks. It not only speaks to the core of me that aims to please my Daddy, but it also keeps me entrenched in the here and now. And when your mind tends to wander to dark corners—as mine does—tasks help me remember to come back, where someone is waiting for me. It’s almost as if Daddy has thrown a rope down a well and I’m there at the bottom where no one can find me, tugging back.
Most of the tasks that have been given to me were not complicated to do. Some examples are:
- Writing letters about what happened to my day. This is interesting as it can stand as a record almost of my minutes and hours. When things get too busy and time is a blur, it is nice to have a reference to what happened. Nevertheless, it can become tedious, as if I was preparing an end-of-day report at work—and when it starts to feel like a chore, then that becomes a problem. This may be a story for another time.
- Keeping a list of good things. So far this is my favourite because it reminds me of the time when I kept a gratitude journal. More than knowing what happened to me in a day, I think it’s significant to practice remembering the good. I think it also shows sensitivity on my Daddy’s part—this is what he wants me to focus on. No matter how bad my day becomes, I get this small space to reflect and be grateful.
- Showing what I’m wearing. It can be a hit-or-miss for me. I almost always dress the way I feel, and nothing is sexy about sweatpants. Especially when I’m depressed. Heh.
- Good morning and goodnight text messages. My heart is soft so I’m always a sucker for sweet nothings and kisses sent my way just because. This doesn’t even qualify as a task because I’ll gladly do it.
Tasks keep me grounded—
I am always reminded who I belong to. My inherent desire to please makes me want to do this because of the person who asked me to do it. I also know that this is for my own benefit, which reminds me that my Dom is paying attention to me, how my mind and heart works, and what my spirit needs. It is almost a meditation on our relationship—doing it is a celebration of his dominance and my submission.
I become better at self-discipline. Knowing that I have a task to do puts me in that mindset where I have to focus and eliminate any distractions. Eventually, this also helps with time management because I have to incorporate it in everything else that I am doing daily.
I have more self-possession. Since being in a D/s relationship means a surrender of control for me, having a routine makes me feel like I still have something of myself to oversee. Don’t get me wrong—yielding to my Dom is the best feeling in the world, but I am still a person and a woman who ultimately belongs to herself, and a task that I need to complete speaks to my brain that needs to go go go most of the time.
I feel more accomplished. This is a pure endorphin rush for someone like me who can be really anxious about daily life. You know that feeling you get when you can cross something off your list? Very that.
I gain a deeper understanding of myself. By having a routine, it opens me up to reflect more on the positive and negative parts of my personality, and what I can do to improve.
I look forward to rewards and punishments. This is the delicious thing about tasks. Completing them is an occasion for praise, which I will never tire of hearing, and sometimes my Dom can also surprise me with a reward that would completely melt my heart. Now, as punishments go, that can either be exciting—or exciting. 🙂
I think the most important thing to remember here is that I am given tasks not because Daddy is being selfish, and he wants to take advantage of my submission to give him service. It took me a long time to understand this, probably because I’ve been with bad Doms in the past, who made me feel that everything is cause-related, i.e. if you do this, I will love you—
On the contrary, a good Daddy will give you tasks for your own self-improvement. As a sub, I have felt a lot of times like I can’t allow myself to do something. My Dom gives me that emotional permission and empowerment to go through with it, which I am grateful for. If he’s invested in helping me become a better person, how can I deny myself the same thing?