I’m not really a brat

Photo by Oleg Magni

There was a time when I thought I was—and maybe even considered myself as—a brat. Maybe because I was around other littles who think they are one. Maybe because I was interacting with a Daddy who likes the thrill of making bratty littles obey him eventually—seeing through all that “false bravery,” as he often likes to say.

I do like a chase now and then. Oh, that tremor that goes through my whole body when I know my Daddy is the predator and I’m his prey—that makes me wet now just thinking about it. But at the end of the day, to me, that’s play.

Yes, there are parts of me that have yet to be conquered. And yes, I consider myself an animal that needs to be tamed—someone looking for her person—but the wildness in me is because of years and years of accumulated hurts, of being Othered, of having to fend for and protect myself, growing feral in order to survive. This is totally different from being a brat.

Sweet and cheeky

As a little, and as a submissive in general, I thrive in pleasing my Daddy Dom to the best of my ability. I find it hard to poke him just because I can? I feel a sense of wrongness…like it’s very out of character for me.

Most of my friends would probably also describe me more like someone who is sweet, doting and thoughtful, and not really a rascal—though let’s be clear, there’s nothing wrong if your personality is like that. In fact, it’s lovely to be around people who are immediate minxes at the littlest opportunity—I am a ball of neuroses, shyness and anxiety all rolled into one, ha—they make me feel like I can let my hair down a little.

That being said, I can be cheeky and impish, too, and I like making Daddy laugh especially when he least expects it. Oh, that will please me to no end.

I always know I’m the little

Maybe that’s why it really fucking hurt when, in my previous relationship, I got into this big argument with D. wherein he treated me like a child, and perhaps got into that headspace that I was being a brat (and having a wrong idea about brats, too, for that matter).

I don’t like to get into it now, but the crux of the matter is that I was confused about following his instructions, which lead to me inadvertently disobeying him, which in turn made him really furious (a degree I thought was unwarranted). He thought I looked for a loophole, and when I tried to explain myself, he claimed I was talking back. Imagine that!

Long story short, that all culminated to me feeling unsafe just because my former Daddy thought I was behaving badly by choice. His reaction was very strong and new to me; I haven’t experienced him talk like that to me before. He said I’ve forgotten the nature of our relationship, and god, haven’t I’ve always known and felt it? I follow him and trust him and need him and rely on him to take care of me—I have bared myself to him in a way I haven’t done with anybody else. I have been ever so vulnerable—how can I forget that he was my Daddy and I was his little?

Upsetting your Dom is not a sport

But I digress. My point is that I’m sure in every relationship having a challenge every once in a while is great to spice things up. A bratty little will bring you joy if provocation turns you on—doling out spanks for getting lippy, for example. Which is fun! Though I feel some balance is still needed, as well as a better understanding of the different personalities of littles.

For one, it doesn’t necessarily mean drama. You can be a brat without being a brat. Does that make sense? I have a few friends who are like this—I can describe them as people who have an intuition to push your buttons, but just the really small ones (ha), and still be mindful of the line. They can also immediately recognise you as having the tolerance and delight for it. I don’t know—it seems like a superpower almost!

However, someone who gets off on bringing negative energy into your life is not a brat but a toxic person. Teasing is fine, and pouting, too, perhaps some tantrums when you’re in your little space—but making a habit out of distressing your caregiver is destructive and harmful behaviour. Being continually (and not playfully) defiant is not only obnoxious but disrespectful, too. If you can’t obey in the first place, maybe it’s time to ask yourself—am I really submissive?

At the same time, I feel like someone who gleefully gives punishments just for the mere reason that they can make you feel powerless and helpless (and not as an emotional response to disciplining you) is not a true Dom but a cruel person.

It is my pleasure to please you

As for myself, I flourish more when receiving positive attention. I’ve had enough trauma in my early life, thank you kindly. My spirit can only cope with so much chastisement. Knowing I’ve displeased Daddy in the first place is already a punishment.

I’m very affectionate and attentive, and will go to great lengths to please you. I don’t like being difficult, though when I say I need a spanking, I desperately need. You don’t have to get me under control, because I have a deep yearning to surrender to the one who can truly see me. And when you call me a good girl—that goes straight to my marrow.

Yes, I am not brat—but if you think I can’t give you sass, you’re mistaken at worst and in for a treat at best. I can be a hellion, but I’m your hellion.

T. xx

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